I’m nearing the end of my second semester of grad school. Specifically, I’m attending seminary. It’s all online and I am loving it – but it’s also hard and taking a ton of time out of reality TV watching. I picked my school based mainly on the fact that I’ve had a crush on it for years, ever since I was about 14 and the then-president, Dr John Walvoord, visited our church and came up to me after the service at which I had played (piano) and said, “Nice job on the offertory, young lady.” Well, now, don’t I have a crush on your school then? I will accept your eschatological view, sir!
Of course I’m learning from it and getting back into the rhythm of assignments and quizzes and doing just fine with it. I’m in an evangelism class right now and one assignment we had to do was witness to a pastor of our church. I picked our youth pastor because he’s funny and I knew I could be awkwardly like, sooooo…um… if you died tonight, do you know where you’d spend eternity? and we’d still manage to be friends afterward. I mean, there was a FORM and everything he had to fill out. Awkward.
So it’s all good and obviously there’s a serious side to it and maybe someday I’ll pour out my heart and how encouraging this experience has been…
But, for some reason, I keep thinking someone’s going to call me out and tell me I’m a fraud for being there – not smart enough, not “man” enough (like, you know, literally not a man), or too old, too mommy, too invested in Target shopping. Therefore, I’m amusing myself by keeping an ongoing list. Here’s what I have so far:
Reasons I Don’t Belong in Seminary:
1. Sometimes I take notes in purple ink. Then I switch to teal. Then I order more pens. Because German theology words like sitz im leben kirche are just prettier that way…
2. I ordered three Christmas gifts online while listening to a lecture – yay me!!
3. I compare monthly tuition amounts to the number of Frye boots I could have ordered.
4. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to find out the notation of LBD stood for Lexham Bible Dictionary and not, in fact, Little Black Dress.
5. I bought matching binders and folders and have a different color scheme for each semester.
6. Have you seen the Essie polish called Shearling Darling? Totally did my nails during something something Matthew, Luke, criticism, Schleiermacher something something.
7. The day I got my latest magazine from the school, I also got my latest US Magazine issue.
8. I keep football on while I’m reading or working on papers. Wait…. that one legitimizes me, right?
Relief! Maybe I do belong after all.