Oh how I love thee, Airborne! Let me count the ways…
I always get colds suddenly. I’ll be fine. I’ll be watching the telly, I’ll say to myself, hmm… is that a germ crawling up my neck?
I’m sick! And I’ll be sick within about three hours of feeling totally fine.
My husband thinks this is weird.
I think it’s weird that he gets sick and plows right through it. “I’m fine! Maybe I’ll go fix the roof!” he’ll say in the middle of the worst sinus infection he’s ever had.
I’ll sneeze twice, feel that tickle in my throat and “I’ll just be lying down watching reruns today,” I’ll say. This happened this past Sunday.
As soon as I felt it, I got out the Airborne.
I love the stuff. I have always been a believer. I don’t even care if it’s psychological and there is no truth to their claims, thank you everyone who’s ever told me that, but I’ll still be taking it. I only get sick about twice a year and I firmly believe this is
A) because I wash my hands incessantly
B) I try to get out of shaking hands at the church greet-your-neighbor time (I have ploys…and I will resort to the old-fashioned fist bump that no self-respecting 4- year old woman should be doing in greeting. I am Not Above This. Because as my 10 year old son says, “Why do they make you do that in church? Do you have ANY IDEA where those hands have been?? I mean, TOILET PLUNGERS!”) and
C) because I take Airborne as soon as one of my kids or anyone near me gets sick.
Germaphobe? Yes. In fact, the bonus of winter in Chicagoland is you can wear gloves in Target while pushing your cart and not look like a total freak for not wanting to touch the left-behind germs of every single person that’s ever pushed that cart!!
What’s cool is they now have Airborne gummies. Which is more awesome than the one pill dissolving in water thing they had back in the old days of 2010(ish). With those pills, you’d use as little water as possible so you didn’t have to suffer long, but then you’d use so little water that you’d about die of “Citrus Flavor.”
Now you get to take up to three gummies multiple times a day (read the label…). This makes you feel like you ARE DOING SOMETHING.
I am defeating this cold one by one gummy at a time! Take that, germ!
However, this time, it’s like the Airborne is working and leaving me in this weird bubble – like I can’t quite hear right, my throat doesn’t feel quite right, my head feels a little off kilter…and I’m sick…but yet…not sick.
I mean, I should be grateful, but actually I’m just internally whiny that I can’t laze around for just ONE DAY. ONE DAY is all I ask! Please??
Okay, fine. I am grateful to feel well enough to get stuff done and not be down for the count. After all, my husband just sneezed. Maybe he’ll need my help replacing the furnace.