Monday evening: 7:30ish…I’m looking online at Weather.com to see where the tornado actually is.A huge flash and a big crash and screams from my children, and my internet is gone.
Mon. 10 pm: Not wanting to believe email is gone, I restart the modem again and again. And again. Oh, and once more for good measure.
Mon. 11 pm: My left hand starts twitching. It wants to post on the blog and send an email to a friend.
Tues. 7 am: Husband calls internet provider. “We show no outages in your area. It’s your modem. We’ll send someone out on Thursday.” (It’s not our modem, btw.)
Tues. 1 pm: I sit in front of my computer and keep trying to load the pages and new emails. No good.
Tues. 5 pm: I turn on my sad album. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, Best of the Carpenters. Without my daily dose of my brother’s sarcasm, my daily dose of all my favorite blogs I read or emails to my cousin in WV… I am lost and I must sing with Karen.
Tues. 11 pm: I restart the modem again. Nothing.
Wed. 1 pm: I have a meeting with our tax guy. While I’m talking, his computer gives off the happy little sound of an INCOMING EMAIL. I literally stop talking. I… I …. I love that sound. I want that sound. He glances over and checks his email in front of me. He says, “Oh, that was an update from Kiplinger’s.” I say, “Oh. Kiplinger’s, huh? They send emails? Is it fun to get those emails? Where can I sign up? I heart Kiplinger’s.” I wipe away the tear from my eye. I resist asking him if I can borrow his computer for ‘just a sec.’ But I’ve already asked him about off-shore accounts and I’m afraid he isn’t feeling my humor.
Wed. 2 pm: Done with tax meeting. Mr MIP is home with the kids, so I call and say I’ll get him Starbucks. I don’t tell him I will do this because I have my iPod touch with me. I will try to get my email from Starbucks’ wifi. I order my drinks. I try to get my email, but for some reason it’s not working. I drive down the strip of stores to an ATT&T store. They charge $9.99 a “day pass” for their wifi. Angrily, I shove the iPod back in my purse. “This is crazy. I don’t need it. I can go without.”
I pull out to go home, and remember there’s a Panera down the street – I stop there. I try to get my email. There I get onto my blog, but not into the email.. it’s taking too long and I get frustrated. “Just email!” I say out loud, “That’s all I want!” And then I realize my children are home without their mother because she’s trying to get her fix. I have left my babies to go get my email. (Okay, they’re with their dad. But still.)
Wed. 3 pm: I call my friend (sponsor?) in Missouri. I say in a super whiny voice, “You are NOT going to believe this! Our internet has been out since Monday!” She gives me much needed empathy. She tells me of a friend of hers who still uses the wifi at the library, “No!” I gasp, “Are you SERIOUS?” We commiserate for a while over this, and by the time I’m done talking to her I know I can do it.
Wed. 5 pm: I turn on loud music to drown out the voices in my head that are telling me I can’t do it.
Wed. 8 pm: In desperation, I ask my mother if I can borrow her Blackberry, which I lovingly refer to as her Crackberry – and now I realize the power of the Crack…we’re at the hair salon and I’m frantically trying to get online before it’s my turn. No go.
Wed. 11 pm: As I lie there, trying to go to sleep, I write fictional emails. Tomorrow… tomorrow I’ll have my life back.
Thurs. 7:30 am: Internet provider calls, “A serviceman is coming out now.” “Great!” I say, “Does he drink coffee? Does he want cookies? What can I do for him? Get him out here now!” I leave the house for our morning responsibilities. When I get back to the car, there is a message from Mr MIP, “Your emails are here, waiting for you!”
Thurs. 1 pm: Aaahhhhhhhhh…. But excuse me, I have to go. I have a very important email from the Swiss Lottery Board.