I’m starting a new Support & Recovery Group for Cub Fans (In Memoriam 2015 – That One Year)
And You Are Invited!
We’ll meet at 1:20 in the beautiful sunshine of the early afternoon. We’ll show up with such things as Hopeful Expressions! Cubbie Blue Shirts & Caps! Saved Instagram Photos of Rizzo & Bryant Being All Cute & So-Totally-Funny!
We’ll talk about:
– Favorite Players Who Didn’t Show Up in That One Game.
-That Hard-to-Describe-Feeling You Get in the Bottom of the 5th When Montero Makes That One Face
Discuss subjects such as:
-What Hope Is And How It Sucks
-Is Maddon, Like, Totally High?
-Did Kris Bryant’s Girlfriend Dump Him Or Something??
-Soler Power Isn’t a Viable Energy Option Anymore: Alternative Energy Sources & You
Snacks would be Cracker Jack and peanuts, natch. And in the middle of the meeting, I’d just randomly stand up and sing “Take Me Out OF the Ballgame” feat. Addison Russell. (a revised version of the ever popular 7th inning stretch song.)
Games to help support recovery and enable fans to work through their Cub Emotions & Feelings would include: Darts with a face of Murphy on the target. Pin the Tail would become Put the Stupid Baseball IN SOLER’S GLOVE.
At the end, we can pass out baseball cards of past Cub Crushes. We can stain the cards with our tears.
Can’t wait to see you there and join in the chorus of disappointment. I am willing to help lead this group as I have had years of experience dealing with being a Loser. If you, too, are a Loser, join us!
Crushed, but Not Defeated in Aurora
p.s. Oh, and next summer, we’ll totes take a field trip to Wrigley to see our Adorable Cubbies play!!!