One of my biggest pet peeves is the way marketers are putting feel-good phrases on everything from candy to diapers. I’m just eating chocolate, I’m not looking to feel zen right now.
But the one I’ve had the most annoying thoughts about is the paper towels I bought with this sappy poem written on each individual towel:
It’s the simple joys, the simple pleasures
The heart remembers And dearly treasures.
From the moment I saw that poem on the paper towels, I’ve been making cynical remarks (to myself). “Simple pleasures? Treasures?” It’s a paper towel!! But today I finished the roll, and I thought to myself, “Now, really, what were you rolling your eyes about? Those paper towels have brought you through many simple pleasures. Many simple joys. All ones we’ll dearly treasure.” Here are a few joys they brought me through in the past week:
1. Cleaning up the cat’s poo.
2. Wiping up the potty on the floor from my 3yo’s attempts at potty training.
3. Oh, yes, and let’s not forget wiping up the throw up from my 7yo’s pleasant joys from today!
4. And, then, to top it off, tonight I spilled an entire cup of iced tea over the couch and floor!
5. Blotting up the Hearty Hamburger Stew from the floor was also, dare I say, a true joy to my heart.
I beg of you, Bounty Manufacturer, just keep making the great paper towels. They have made my life easier. But keep the sappy, cheesy poems off. Let’s be real. Life is a mess. There is nothing pretty about it. I offer this alternate:
When the cat can’t make it to his box,
And there’s tomato sauce soaked in your socks,
When your daughter can’t quite reach the toilet,
And the tea on the couch is going to soil it,
Life ain’t pretty, don’t you know it,
But if you’ve got Bounty, you don’t have to show it.
(just be glad I didn’t use the one I wrote rhyming “towels” with “bowels.”)