I went to the doctor today. It was just a normal, routine physical. But it had been about four years since I had gone in and it was on my list of “Good Girl Things I Need to Do.” I had some anxiety issues with it, because one time my dad went in and they said, hm, looks like you have a year left to live. And within three months he was gone.
And I had really liked my last doctor, but she up and got married and left town with her sweetheart. So I had to find another doctor. Which shouldn’t be too hard. But you do wonder if you have chosen the right one. Will this one listen? Will this one take one look at me and send me for the full body scan?
We have a really high deductible. And money worries me too. I don’t want to pay for tests I don’t need. And yet I want the tests I do need.
When the nurse took my blood pressure, he said. Hm. It’s high. Are you nervous? I said, I wouldn’t say I’m nervous, per se, just maybe a little um… I don’t know.
I remembered the Seinfeld episode in which Elaine’s doctor writes something on her chart and from then on, no other doctors will see her because she is a difficult patient. I try to smile and be friendly so no notes get written on my chart. “Is always nervous.” “Is hypochondriacal.”The doctor comes in. She says, so, you’re nervous, huh? I say, no, I’m not nervous. I’m fine. She says she’ll check my pressure again. She says, think happy thoughts. I say, I’ll think about a lonely deserted island. I thought about my desert island. I picture Sawyer and Kate running through the rainforest! Yikes! The big, black smokey monster is coming after them! Is Claire alive or a ghost? Is this island real or purgatory? The doctor says, well, I got a lower reading than the nurse did, but it’s still high. I’m thinking of course it’s high, will Jack and Kate ever be together happily?
Another nurse comes in and she says, are you the one that was nervous? I say, really I do not want to be known as “the nervous one.” I’m not nervous. They laugh and say, it’s okay, everyone gets nervous. I say louder, I’m NOT nervous! I’m fine.
I come home with blood pressure pills to bring the bp down and hopefully help the headaches I struggle with. I come home relieved. Because she never said anything about one year left to live.
The next thing on my list is to get our wills done. Because you never know. Not that that makes me nervous or anything.