I believe spontaneous yeses are the best-es (?). Sunday night I got a text from my sister-in-law saying she had an extra ticket to see a band downtown Monday night. All the usual things popped into my head: -the kids, -it’s a Monday, -I’d have to move some things around. But I almost always end up enjoying seeing live music and my impulse was to say yes, which I did… and ended up having a fun night.
Because I LOVE being spontaneous, here’s my rules I set for myself for knowing when to say yes:
–No avoiding responsibilities!! Yes, I have this as a rule, because there are times where I definitely would ignore this advice… not good as a track record. Usually on Monday nights, I have to take my daughter to a violin lesson, saying yes and then dumping out on my daughter’s lesson teaches her nothing about responsibility for taking lessons or following through on commitments. Last night? No lesson. Freedom!
-I ask my husband. Do I need his “permission”? Yes and no. Yes, because the kids then become his responsibility and I respect that maybe he had plans and just in general, I respect him and his opinion! No, in that – listen up, Mothers – the kids are HIS children too and as long as we keep the communication open, it’s totally fine for me to have my own interests. I used to feel guilty for going by myself to things I knew I’d enjoy. When I asked him if he minded if I went to the concert his response was, “I don’t care what you do.” (not in a mean way, just in a, hey, that’s cool. GO.) He enjoys staying home, I enjoy having a night a week to go out and meet a friend or go do something. It works for us! BUT only because we talked about it and continue to talk about it.
-When we arrived at the theatre and made our way up to the balcony, we ended up sitting behind a man, whom I soon noticed had a poster of the band, and what was basically the band’s complete discography. This leads to my next tip, which is: Find “The Fan”. Trust me, you’ll learn everything you ever needed to know about the event in ten minutes. Spontaneity means I didn’t know much about what I was actually in for, but keeping my eye out for The Fan made the spontaneity fun, but also a little informed.
-Lastly, the thing that keeps me wanting to be spontaneous is that moment of standing outside on Clark Street at 10 pm at night, with a random group of people in the cool air, groups of 5 or 10 making their way across the street to a hot dog restaurant, the fans of Wrigley Field starting to trickle out of the park. I love those moments of city. And the memory of the night with my sister-in-law and how we searched for parking forever, walked back at night, talking to random people, missing our exit on the way home and having our new inside joke, “North Aurora, 6 A.M.!”
That’s why I love saying yes.